| Jul. 10th, 2009 @ 09:42 am (no subject) |
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spending the day in the hospital, it's a lot of tests and stuff, all kinda things that I have to do....it's a bother in some ways but today things aren't half as bad as I thought it would be. I've fasted since ten last night, I am not allowed any drink, not even water, and thats a bit of an annoyance, but I've found the hospital library and it is FULL of great books!! It's like going in to a candy store as little....or as it has been for me all my life, like going in to a library!! :)
So, I am leaving with a tonne of books, but thats okay, I am coming back next week and the week after that etc...doing these tests take a lot of time, but no energy at all. It's quite relaxing and the staff is kind and thoughtful.
They also have computers here, in the library, that one can use for an hour or more, depending on how many people are here. I just have to hang around for more blood work after a certain amount of time. Today they poured some weird stuff down my nose!! It felt funny!! Also, every day since I got home from england, I've been away to hand my blood over to some nurse, so my arm is starting to look like a proper druggies arm. *shrugs*
Anyway, it's been not so great to be home again. I am feeling very alone, and very un-liked, but so far not anywhere near as suicidal and horrible I've been before, so maybe the drugs are working and maybe eventually I will be a person who actually picks up the phone and calls friends up instead of sitting at home feeling right sorry for myself! Now talk about improvement!
I miss Ellen as mad. She is this person whom I sometimes don't know if I deserve to have as my very closest friend. She is kind-hearted, generous, sweet and funny as hell. She also have this sharp thing, which I adore, when she just say something which makes you just jump out of your seat!
She is sooo much nicer than me, in every way of the word. (nice) She has this amazing portion of patience, I can't belive where it comes from! She must have gotten my share too! Bad God!!!
At least the rain has been pouring down like mad here, which is lovely as I don't have to feel so much as the freak (that I obviously am) for sitting in doors watching big brother...24/7 apart from the whole being in hospital thing.
Apperantly I am not getting sacked anyway. Thats always something. Although, I do need to ask my doctors for lenghty essays about me to send in to the försäkringskassa (where you get sick-pay etc from) because they are cutting me from getting sick pay, which I get each month and without it I am totally sold, my salary being way to low and well, it's not a whole lot, it doesn't even cover my rent, but I need that money. Badly. So I have to beg my doctors, not looking forward to it, got to do it though. :(
Anyway, hope everybody is too busy for reading this shite!
lots of love |
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